Hidayah (age11), UK

Q. What’s green in the middle and white on the sides?
A. A frog sandwich!

Catherine Lukwago (age 13), Botswana

Father to Son
Father: What did you do at school son?
Son: My teacher said my marks are under water!
Father: What did she mean by that?
Son: They are below C-level.

Abby (age 7), USA

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Mikey who?
Mikeys are in my other pants! Now let me in!

Annemarie (age 13), Malta

One day, a boy and his grandma were walking when the boy saw a coin. He was going to pick it up but his grandma told him, “Don’t you know that we cannot pick things from the floor?!”

Next time they went out walking, his grandma fell over onto the floor. She asked her grandson, “Would you pick me up please?” And he told her, “Don’t you know that we cannot pick up things from the floor?!!!”

Alice Visocchi (age 10), USA

Q: How do we know Rome was built at night?
A: Because everyone says it wasn’t built in a day!

Q: Why do barbers make good drivers?
A: Because they know all the shortcuts!

Charlie Lennon (age 12), England

Patient: Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Come on kid, pull yourself together then!

Amy (age 7), Wales

Q. What do you call a man under a car?

Eddresa Dasher (age 11), USA

Q. Why did the cow butt the farmer?
A. Because he wanted her to mooove!

Kirsty Mack (age 10), Scotland – for her little sis, Beth

knock knock
who’s there?
no 1
no 1 who?
no 1, there is NO1 here!!

knock knock
who’s there?
boo who?
didnt u find my joke funny?

Megan Engelbach (age 13), USA

Q. How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

Jayde (age 11), England

Q. What happened to the cat that ate wool?
A. She had mittens!

hatchupTwo jokes from Noa Solomon (age 8), England

No. 1 Joke:

Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. I’ll stay up here while you hang around.

And Joke No 2:

Two tomatoes were walking down the street
One says, “Hello, I’m tomato”
The other one gets run over by a car…and then says, “Hi! I’m ketchup.”

In case you were wondering, Noa is a girl. She says if you’re a boy with that name, you spell your name with an ‘h’: Noah. I didn’t know-a that. Hee hee.

Three jokes by Becca Fadness (age 10), USA

Q. What do you call a cow in church?
A. A holy cow!

Q. What do you call a cow on the ground?
A. Ground beef!

Q. What do you call a pig in karate?
A. Pork chop!

sharkBy Pejman (age 9), Canada

Q: What is an underwater creature that plays basketball????

A: A BASKING shark!!!!!!

Matt (age 10), USAmoo!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?

A. Want to go to the MOOvies??!!!!!

By Sheila (age 11), Canadacrab

Q: Why does the ocean roar?

A: Because it has crabs on its bottom!

By Joseph (age 12), USAarachnid

Q. Why did the spider cross the road?

A. To get to Tiki’s website!

soupermanBy Pedram (age 10), Canada

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Soup who?

poorly cookieBy Stacy (age 15), USA

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

A. He was feeling crummy!

22 or tutu?By Sonja (age 10), USA

Q. Why do ballerinas wear tutus???

A. Because one one is too small and three three is too big.

By Katie Fulcher (age 7), Englandlion

Q. What did the Lion say when he saw a boy on a skateboard?

A. Meals on wheels!

7ate9And another one from Katie:

Q. Why is six afraid of seven?

A. Because seven-eight-nine!

Get it?

ladderBy Geraldine (age 11), Australia

Q. Why did the student climb on a ladder?

A. Because he wanted to be on top of the class.

By Glorfalas (age 12), USArevolving thing

Q: What’s black and white and goes round and around?

A: A Penguin in a revolving door.

teacher and Simon?By Katie Fulcher (age7), England

Simon, can you spell your name backwards?


were the farmer’s hands cold?By Kaity (age12), USA

Q. Why did the cow jump over the moon?

A. Because the farmer’s hands were cold!

iglooBy Ricardo Tilto (age 6), Albania

Q. Where do penguins build their igloos?

A. In coldisacs!!!!

movieBy Lane Huff (age 6), USA

Q. Why did Woody the Woodpecker go fast on the road?

A. Because he wanted to get to his next movie!!!!!!!!!

Tiki in tuxedoBy DeLanie Puckett (age 10), USA

Q.Why didn’t the penguin buy a tuxedo for the wedding?

A. Because he was already wearing one!!!!!

barking lot?? By Samantha Davis (age 7), USA

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?

A. To get to the barking lot!

traffic? What’s that?By Mikia Hedden (age 9), USA

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A. Because chickens wasn’t invented!!!!!! HAHAHA Get it??????

get it? QuarterbackBy Michael (age 9), USA

Q.Why did the coach go to the bank?

A. To get his quarter back!

roosterBy Michaela “Shortstuff” Delaney (age 11), USA

Q.Why did the Rooster cross the road?

A. To prove he wasn’t a chicken!!!!!

skeletonQ. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A. ‘Cos he didn’t have the guts!!!

wooooooo!!!By Luci (age 12), England

Q. What is a vampire’s favourite soup?

A. Scream of mushroom!!!!

GET IT?????

By Beth (age 15), Australia

Q. What bird can wryellophantite underwater?

A. A ball point PENguin!

Q. Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?

A. So he could hide upside down in the custard!

And a ‘Knock knock’ joke:

mooo!!!knock knock
whos there?
the interrupting cow
the interrupting…
… cow who?

this deer has eyesBy Ben Radley (age 11), Blue Mountains, Australia

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A. No idea (no eye deer).

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A. Still no idea!

duck laughingBy Jack O’Malley (age 8) from Dunedin, New Zealand

What do you call a box of ducks?

A box of quackers!

me keeping warmBy Nadia Perkins (age 5) from Sydney, Australia

Why can’t penguins tell secrets in the North Pole???

Because their teeth keep chattering!!

By Chelsea Schutz from Illinois, USA.

One day a penguin went into a police station because his brother was missing. He said, “My brother is missing.” “What does he look like?” says the policeman looking straight at the penguin.

GET IT!!!???

By Carly (aged 11)

Why did the lemon run into the middle of the road?

So he could play squash.

By Paramita (9 years old) from Auckland, New Zealand.

What happened to the wooden car with the wooden motor with the wooden wheels?

It wooden go!busted car

What happened to the steel car with the steel motor and the steel wheels?

It steel wouldn’t go!!

Now I’m going to try you with a penguin joke. But humans don’t usually understand them or don’t think they’re funny. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!………..

Well did you hear the one about the penguin on a drifting ice floe? What was he doing?

He was going with the floe!
Who’s this laughing? laugh!!!

Hahahahaha! Ho ho ho! Oh dear, that’s just So-o-o-o funny! What do you mean, you don’t think so? If you can do better, SEND ME YOUR JOKE! Okay?