from Raphael, age 11, Malta
Teacher – I have 20 apples and I eat 17. What is left?
John – A big chance for diarrea.
from Daniel, age 9, South Africa
Shirly you have not forgotten my name already
Q. Why did’t the skilentten cross the road
A.Because it had no gats
from Nesha, age 11, Northern Ireland
girl: look it’s a ladybird!
mum: how do you know it’s a ladybird?
girl: it’s wearing a dress!
from Ronan 11 Hong Kong
Three Kids: Crazy, Nobody and Nothing are walking in a forest when suddenly Nobody fell in a wolf trap! Nothing tells Crazy to call the police station. Crazy runs to the nearest phone cab and calls,
“Hello, I call for Nothing, Nobody fell in a wolf trap!” The policeman is confused and asks,
“What? are you crazy?” and Crazy replies,
“Yes, you know me?”
from Katie, age 9, Australia
Katie has sent me three jokes. Here they are:
TEACHER: Has anyone ever seen the Catskill Mountains?
ED: No, but I’ve seen the Cats Kill Mice
Q: Why are Kindergarten Teachers so good?
A: Because they know how to make little things count!
Q: Why don’t cat’s complain when other cats make noise all night?
A: Because it’s Meow-sic to their ears
from Fabby, age 12, Philippines
Q: Why did the chicken get cross with the road?
A: Because that darn road got him in too much jokes.
Q: A man keep on looking and looking though he can’t, asking and asking though he can’t, so confused he wanted to scratch his head but can’t. He can do none, so he slapped his forehead but still can’t!!! Why is this so?
A: Because he lost his head!!!
from Huda, age 11, Canada
Q: There was a cowboy he went to a city he came on Friday stayed there for three days and then left on Friday!!!
A: his horses name was Friday!!!
Three jokes from Kristina, age 10, Puerto Rico, United States of America.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow’s say moo, not who.
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome pizza over, please!
Once there were three poor girls. They did not have any money. One day, a girl finds 20$. They all say they’re rich, so they go shopping. One girl buys a ring, another buys shoes, and the last one buys earrings. Now they all have fancy items. They stand in the middle of a crowd. The first girl points at the floor and says “look a cockroach!” So everyone looks at her ring. The second one says “I’ll squish it with my shoe.” So everyone looks at her shoes. The last one says “you shouldn’t be doing those things”, while she shook her head so everyone looks at her earrings.
from Ariel, age 8, Singapore
Q: What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
A: lunch and dinner
from Tierney and Shelley, ages 12 and 13, United States of America
Tierney: Did you hear about the two t.v. antennas that fell in love and got married?
Tierney: The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was great!!!!
from Tore, age 7, London, England
Have you ever heard of a flying pig?
Now you have!