Please send me your best jokes to add to this page!joke’s on you!
How do you do that? Look at the blue column on the right to find out.

Now read on… and get ready to laugh!!!

from Jacky, age 10, Malta

Q: What did the telephone say to the other?
A: You’re too young to be engaged!

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing. Peanuts don’t talk

Q: Mrs.Pink livse in the pink house, Mrs.Blue lives in the blue house and Mrs.Brown lives in the brown house. Who live in the white house?
A: The President of America!

Person 1: While I was hanging your knickers, I notice it had 3 holes.
Person 2: Really? Where are they?
Person 1: Don’t worry, two holes are to put your legs in and one of them its to put the rest in!

from Natisha, age 10, South Africa

There was a Chinese man, an American man and a South African. They all were at Eygpt and were friends. First the Chinese man stayed in one of the hotels, the others stayed in different ones. While the Chinese man was sleeping he heard a voice saying, “I’m the ghost with a red eye”, so he ran away. Then the American stayed in the hotel, he heard the same, and ran away, then the South African stayed there and the ghost said, “I’m the ghost with a red eye”, so the South African said, “go away or else you’ll be the ghost with a blue eye!!!!!!!!!” and the ghost ran away!!!!!!!!!

Does that mean South African men aren’t scared of ghosts?

Q :There were 2 fathers and 2 sons , so they went hunting the each caught 1 buck. How many bucks did they catch altogether?
A : 3 because there were 2 fathers (2 men) and 2 sons(2 boys) so I was your father & you were my son and someone was my father and I was their son!


from Amer, age 10, Doha, Qatar

A cowboy goes into a Hotel on Friday. He stays there two nights and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

His horse’s name was Friday!

Nice one, Amer!

from Emily, age 9, England

Q: why do giraffes have long necks?
A: because they smash their head in the ground and see what the rabbits are watching on tv.

from Madeline, age 10, Tasmania (Australia)

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
A: Swimming trunks

Q: Why do elephants live in the jungle?
A: Because they are too big to fit in houses.

Q: Doctor, doctor, I’m so ugly. What can I do about it?
A: Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.

from Ivan, age 11, Bulgaria

Q: Do you know why the gum cross the road
A: becus it was stuck on the chicken’s leg.

from Rebecca, age 12, UK

Rebecca has sent me 10 jokes!! But they’re all great so here they are:

Q. Is this a second hand shop?
A. Yes sir, good can you fit one on my watch, please.

Q. why is it not safe to sleep on trains?
A. Because they run over sleepers

Q. what happen to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
A. it was eggspelled

Q. what’s the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
A. you can shut the book up.

Q. Please sir! please sir! Why do you keep me locked up in this cage?
A. Because you’re the teachers pet.

Q. What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?
A. A long-necked toothbrush.

Q. what is a snail?
A. a slug with a crash helmet.

Q. what do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. hot cross bunnies

Q. what dog smells of onions?
A. a hot dog

Q. I have two noses, three eyes and only one ear what am I?
A. very ugly.

from Indiana, age 9, USA

Q: What do you call a fish with two knees?
A: A 2kneefish!

from Lois, age 13, UK

Q: what did one traffic light say to the other?
A: dont look, i’m changing!

from Maddie, age 11, Wales

Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.

from Shara, age 5, Uganda

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up!!

That one cracked me up, Shara! Hehehe!

from Shrey, age 6, UK

Q. why did the banana go under the squash van?
A. banana squash

Who’s there?
docter who?
You know I’m a docter,but who am I?

Q: what is winnie the pooh’s proper name?
A: poo,poo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yuk!

from Niall, age 11, Canada

Q: What’s a penguins fave ice cream?
A: Choc ICE!

Umm, not sure about that! Fish ice is mine, but you can’t usually get them.

from Ronan, age 9, Hong Kong

Teacher: Alvin,use the words: defence, detail and defeat in one sentence.
Alvin: The feet (defeat) went over the fence (defence) before the tail(detail).

Q:What rules Antarctica?
A:Emperor penguins

Q: What do trees use to eat with?
A: chop sticks

Q: What does the tuna say when something weird is happening?
A: “There’s something fishy going around here!”

Ronan has sent me a lot of jokes. You can find them on my other Jokes pages. There’s a link button at the bottom of this page.

from Aoife, age 10, Ireland

Q.what goes black white bump black white bump
A.a nun falling down the stairs

Q.what goes hehehe
A. the nun who pushed her

from Lenise, age 12, Malta

knock knock
who’s there
winnie who
winnie the pooh

from Portia, age 9, UK (who supports Chelsea Football Club, she says)

Q. What does the enverlope say to the stamp?
A: stick with me and we will go places

from Ben, age 12, UK

A man walks into a bar… OUCH!

from Mimi, age 9, UK

Q: What do you call a pig that flies?
A: A pigasus.

from Callum, age 12, UK

Q: Why did the boy throw his watch out of the history class?
A: To make time fly.

Bernard, age 11, UK

Q. What is James Bond’s Aqua Hideout called?
A. Bubble 07.

From Tanzim, age 9, England

Would you blame some one for what they have not done?
Good I haven’t done my homework.

from Will, aged 6, USA

Q. How did the skunk phone his mother?
A. On a smellular phone!

Q.What do cats put in soft drink?
A. Mice cubes!